what should i do?

i helped him in so many little things, i gave him my WHOLE LIFE.but he dont appreciate at all. i gave him my money, my time, my future. what have he really given me?sorrow, madness, and tears.i really hoped this was all a dream . when dylan wasnt there, and i have never met him.

4 years together, but it seems like i just knew him yesterday . i rmb 6 months ago, when im 3month pregnent with dylan. when he starts to go out with his friends all day. noone was there for me. i was all alone. no one cared for me. i have to hide from my parents about being pregnent.im scare but he wasnt there . he was outside having his fun time . there's one day, i got real mad after quarrelling with him , and i started hitting dylan. i started hitting my tummy real hard . wishing it would go away(hopefully it didnt hurt dylan).that was the worst time of my life. hopeless, dont know who to ask for, dont know what to do. till now, he's still quarrelling with me even when dylan is coming out in 1 weeks time . i'm afraid of facing everything alone . to the fact that he was actually a useless guy . mummy boy. i hate his mum alot , she seems fake, she dont even care about her son . i dont understand his father either . not giving his son money , and expecting them to feed themselves with nothing? joke much. i just hope everything will go peacefully , thank god.

2more weeks

2more weeks till my due, operation will be done for dylan to be out. recently, many things has happened. including me now knowing what type of person dylan's father is. few days back, i quarreled with him, he called me in the middle of the night and told me off. i cried like waterfall. i dont know what happened to him, but he's just so scary . nobody ever talk/scolded me in this way . he is just way too scary manz . if i haven't met him 4 years ago, things will never be the same. i'll be studying now, i'll be a good girl. i'll study hard not in a situation i'm in now- pregnent .

time pass so fast . so darn scary .

i'm not sure, if i could even provide dylan with clothings, food, and everything he needs next time. To be serious, dylan was a burden to me and my parents. but, no doubts. he's my child . i cant change the fact about it . 9 months in my tummy , and i can't said that i have no feelings for him.

i cant continue any longer with his dad.after that wakeup call tht night, i truly wokeup. knowing what type of person he is. Somethings, when are said out, can no longer be taken back .

i do love him , but he's way too scary for me to continue life with him for the rest of my life.

i needa reconsider everything between us . giving both of us some time to think over .

till here.

the feeling

the feeling of being pregnent ..
its so scary , and i hate it . whenever he leaves me to meet his friend or what . i gets scare , afraid tht he would meet other girls . i cant describle the feeling , sometimes i felt as if i owned him . but sometimes , im really afraid he would go for others girls and left me alone with the child . everynight , sleeping alone(with the child in my tummy) , its so scary . The father of the child is actually not by my side . i know im boring , but bear with it dear . before having the baby , i actually told things not tht serious . its like you wanna go you go , i dont mind . now , once you wanna leave me . i would start to get shag and sad over it . maybe the child or something but i just hate the feelings . when i saw a name of a girl on your phone it will get me jealous and paranoid over it . i want to be a happy mummy . i want to have a happy family . thought i own you but , im scare one day . if a girl seduce you , will you leave with her ? thats how paranoid i gets . i hate girls that contacts with him . i'll always cry about it before i get to sleep . when im happy , i could actually even smile while going to sleep . thats how emotional i am . would you understand my feelings ? would you understand me ? i trust you , but not those girls ..