the feeling

the feeling of being pregnent ..
its so scary , and i hate it . whenever he leaves me to meet his friend or what . i gets scare , afraid tht he would meet other girls . i cant describle the feeling , sometimes i felt as if i owned him . but sometimes , im really afraid he would go for others girls and left me alone with the child . everynight , sleeping alone(with the child in my tummy) , its so scary . The father of the child is actually not by my side . i know im boring , but bear with it dear . before having the baby , i actually told things not tht serious . its like you wanna go you go , i dont mind . now , once you wanna leave me . i would start to get shag and sad over it . maybe the child or something but i just hate the feelings . when i saw a name of a girl on your phone it will get me jealous and paranoid over it . i want to be a happy mummy . i want to have a happy family . thought i own you but , im scare one day . if a girl seduce you , will you leave with her ? thats how paranoid i gets . i hate girls that contacts with him . i'll always cry about it before i get to sleep . when im happy , i could actually even smile while going to sleep . thats how emotional i am . would you understand my feelings ? would you understand me ? i trust you , but not those girls ..